Trust arises based on Clear Structures and Boundaries

Trust relationship within oneself and with other comes from a clear structure agreed by the healthy lifestyle. The more clear the structures and the boundaries, the more trust appear, the more security and safety built.


The Beauty of Under Pressure

 Could anyone be able to know if s/he is crystal potential, who can stand high pressure and heat, and finally turn into beautiful crystal, and still embedded deep inside a stone until the expert discover him/her? 






The Way to remove Conflicts, Wars, Terrorism and Violence

Suffering, Loving Speech, Deep Listening




The fear, the anger and the despair is born on the ground of wrong perception.
We have wrong perceptions concerning ourselves and the other person.
That is the foundation for conflict, war and violence.
We should be able to say this:
"Dear friends, dear people. I know that you suffer a lot. I have not understood enough of your difficulties and suffering. It's not our intention to make you suffer more. It is opposite. So please tell us about your suffering, your difficulties, I'm eager to learn, to understand."
It has to start like that, loving speech. If you are honest, if you are true, they will open their heart and tell us. Then, we practice compassionate, deep listening.


During the process of deep listening, we can learn so much about our own perception and their perceptions.
That is the best way, the only way, to remove terrorism.



Please Call Me by My True Names by Thich Nhat Hanh - Powerful Compassion






Please Call Me by My True Names

by Thich Nhat Hanh
(1929 - ) Timeline


Don't say that I will depart tomorrow --
even today I am still arriving.

Look deeply: every second I am arriving
to be a bud on a Spring branch,
to be a tiny bird, with still-fragile wings,
learning to sing in my new nest,
to be a caterpillar in the heart of a flower,
to be a jewel hiding itself in a stone.

I still arrive, in order to laugh and to cry,
to fear and to hope.

The rhythm of my heart is the birth and death
of all that is alive.

I am the mayfly metamorphosing
on the surface of the river.
And I am the bird
that swoops down to swallow the mayfly.

I am the frog swimming happily
in the clear water of a pond.
And I am the grass-snake
that silently feeds itself on the frog.

I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones,
my legs as thin as bamboo sticks.
And I am the arms merchant,
selling deadly weapons to Uganda.

I am the twelve-year-old girl,
refugee on a small boat,
who throws herself into the ocean
after being raped by a sea pirate.
And I am the pirate,
my heart not yet capable
of seeing and loving.

I am a member of the politburo,
with plenty of power in my hands.
And I am the man who has to pay
his "debt of blood" to my people
dying slowly in a forced-labor camp.


My joy is like Spring, so warm
it makes flowers bloom all over the Earth.
My pain is like a river of tears,
so vast it fills the four oceans.

Please call me by my true names,
so I can hear all my cries and my laughter at once,
so I can see that my joy and pain are one.

Please call me by my true names,
so I can wake up,
and so the door of my heart
can be left open,
the door of compassion.


1989
















Relationship : Our wounds and masks - rejection, abandonment, betrayal, humiliation and injustice.



Overview of the 5 wounds and their masks:


Typical wounds of the chaser:
Wound of rejection - mask of escape
Wound of abandonment - mask of dependence

Typical wounds of the runner:

Wound of humiliation - mask of compliance
Wound of betrayal - mask of control
Wound of injustice - mask of rigidity For Chaser


The details:



For Chaser

Wound of rejection:

When it comes to the wound of rejection, the person concerned is questioning his right to exist. The pain is so huge, the person creates himself/herself the mask of escape. S/He tends to withdraw from situations s/he could be rejected by escaping actively or by pulling out of reality (for example by daydreaming).
People who suffer under this wound, tend to not be able to defend or take their place and have very low borders. They often loose a lot of energy, because they tend to melt with others.

Now the runner feels he needs to face his/her emotions because s/he looses the control.

The chaser of the twin flames often suffered from this wound. Because s/he has such low borders s/he is no match for the runner who just is seeking control because of his/her fear of the emotions.
When the wound is healed, the chaser stands strong in his/her borders and his/her self-esteem.


Wound of abandonment:


When it comes to the wound of abandonment, the person concerned has had experiences, in which s/he felt left alone or abandoned. The wound is so deep, the people suffering from it, immediately create the mask of dependence.
People with this wound tend to please others all the time and make themselves dependent from others, just to not be abandoned. They also don’t show their borders or even have never build healthy borders.

They also tend to melt with others and loose a lot of energy along the way. This wound is also typical for the chaser, as they tend to do everything just not be left behind by the runner. Often, they even take humiliation, to the point where they give up themselves.
This situation is used by the runner who is taking full control, because of his/her deep fear of his/her emotions.
When the wound is healed, healthy borders can be developed by the chaser and the runner needs to face his/her emotions, because s/he feels s/he is loosing control.

For Runners


Wound of betrayal:

When it comes to the wound of betrayal, the person concerned has had experiences where s/he felt betrayed or left behind. People with this deep wound soon create the mask of control, trying to hide the wound.
People who suffer from this wound tend to live only in their mind and try to control everything, also their feelings.
When you deal with people suffering from this wound, you will have a hard time standing your ground. These people literally built up walls around their emotional world. When it comes to twin flames, you can easily rank in the runner. Because of this wound, s/he has built up massive walls. Voluntarily the runner would probably never heal this wound.
It takes a person, which means so much to him/her, s/he is forced to face his/her emotions and let go of the control.
The chaser has the potential to help the runner heal his/her wound, but in order to start the healing process the chaser has to be able to show his/her borders to the runner. Now s/he feels s/he is loosing control and has to face his/her emotions.

Wound of humiliation:


When it comes to the wound of humiliation, the person concerned has had experiences where s/he felt degraded, humiliated and ashamed.
Soon the mask of compliance is created to hide from the wound.
The people suffering from this wound also want to control everything, just to avoid a possible humiliation. They tend to play the mother for others, not necessarily because of love, but to make themselves valuable for others and also have the control.
This wound also fits for the runner personality, who doesn’t allow himself/herself to get in touch with his/her emotional world.

Wound of injustice:

When it comes to the wound of injustice, the person concerned has had experiences where s/he felt deeply mistreated. S/He has the feeling not to be respected or not to get what s/he deserves. The mask s/he creates is the mask of rigidity. S/He tends to be stiff, is not easy to talk to and controls his/her emotions.
In the twin flame constellation, the runner tends to suffer from this wound and most of the time is stuck because the pain is deep.
Again, the chaser can help the runner heal the wound by showing him/her healthy borders. Because the love is so strong, s/he will face the wound, when he s/feels your borders.

Conclusion:


This was a short review of the 5 wounds of the soul. It shows you that each of the twin flames have different wounds and that there is no guilt. The egos just stand in the way, desperately trying to prevent them from possible pain. That’s why at the beginning, a relationship between twin flames is not possible most of the time. The connection is so divine and insightful, that our shadows just can’t not exist, so our wounds show up.


The power of setting boundary

We tend to behave sometimes like a chaser, another time like a runner.

The time when you behaved like a chaser:


You, when you are as the chaser, have to take the first steps into your healing. If you do so, you will turn into a person full of self-love, self-esteem and healthy borders. Since twin flames are desperately connected, your twin flame will feel the changes you made.

At the beginning when the chaser has no real borders, the runner can steal a lot of energy from the chaser. S/He desperately needs this energy to be able to have the power to fight against the deep feelings s/he secretly has. So when you do your steps and integrate healthy borders, s/he won’t be able to get the energy. Now the circle is broken and it is only a matter of time until s/he loses the power to go against the love of his/her life. Finally his/her heart will win over his/her mind and the twin flame process has been mastered. Now the door is open for the most divine and deep love on earth!

So, dear chaser: Please realize the power you have in this process.

The time when you behave like a runner:

Sometimes you may appear as a runner, thus you may have to open for the love of the chaser to show you his/her boundary.

With your development you can solve this process. It is in your hands! Heal your wounds, the rest will follow!



The Wisdom of Rejection


It's impossible our happiness depends on ...



7 Myths About the Brain



Separating Fact From Fiction


The human brain is amazing and sometimes mysterious. While researchers are still uncovering the secrets of how the brain works, they have discovered plenty of information about what goes on inside your noggin. Unfortunately, there are still a lot of brain myths out there.
The following are just a few of the many myths about the brain.
Myth 1: You only use 10 percent of your brain.
You've probably heard this oft-cited bit of information several times, but constant repetition does not make it any more accurate.
People often use this popular urban legend to imply that the mind is capable of much greater things, such as dramatically increased intelligence, psychic abilities, or even telekinesis. After all, if we can do all the things we do using only 10 percent of our brains, just imagine what we could accomplish if we used the remaining 90 percent.
Reality check: Research suggests that all areas of the brain perform some type of function. If the 10 percent myth were true, brain damage would be far less likely – after all, we would really only have to worry about that tiny 10 percent of our brains being injured. The fact is that damage to even a small area of the brain can result in profound consequences to both cognition and functioning. Brain imaging technologies have also demonstrated that the entire brain shows levels of activity, even during sleep.
"It turns out though, that we use virtually every part of the brain, and that [most of] the brain is active almost all the time. Let's put it this way: the brain represents three percent of the body's weight and uses 20 percent of the body's energy." - Neurologist Barry Gordon of Johns Hopkins School of Medicine,Scientific American

Myth 2: Brain damage is permanent.

The brain is fragile and can be damaged by things such as injury, stroke, or disease. This damage can result in a range of consequences, from mild disruptions in cognitive abilities to complete impairment. Brain damage can be devastating, but is it always permanent?
Reality check: While we often tend to think of brain injuries as lasting, a person's ability to recover from such damage depends upon the severity and the location of the injury. For example, a blow to the head during a football game might lead to aconcussion. While this can be quite serious, most people are able to recover when given time to heal. A severe stroke, on the other hand, can result in dire consequences to the brain that can very well be permanent.
However, it is important to remember that the human brain has an impressive amount of plasticity. Even following a serious brain event, such as a stroke, the brain can often heal itself over time and form new connections.
"Even after more serious brain injury, such as stroke, research indicates that — especially with the help of therapy — the brain may be capable of developing new connections and “reroute” function through healthy areas." – BrainFacts.org

Myth 3: People are either "right-brained" or "left-brained."

Have you ever heard someone describe themselves as either left-brained or right-brained?
This stems from the popular notion that people are either dominated by their right or left brain hemispheres. According to this idea, people who are "right-brained" tend to be more creative and expressive, while those who are "left-brained" tend to be more analytical and logical.
Reality Check: While experts do recognize that there is lateralization of brain function (that is, certain types of tasks and thinking tend to be more associated with a particular region of the brain), no one is fully right-brained or left-brained. In fact, we tend to do better at tasks when the entire brain is utilized, even for things that are typically associated with a certain area of the brain.
"No matter how lateralized the brain can get, though, the two sides still work together. The pop psychology notion of a left brain and a right brain doesn’t capture their intimate working relationship. The left hemisphere specializes in picking out the sounds that form words and working out the syntax of the words, for example, but it does not have a monopoly on language processing. The right hemisphere is actually more sensitive to the emotional features of language, tuning in to the slow rhythms of speech that carry intonation and stress." – Carl Zimmer, Discover

Myth 4: Humans have the biggest brains.

The human brain is quite large in proportion to body size, but another common misconception is that humans have the largest brains of any organism. How big is the human brain? How does it compare to other species?
Reality Check: The average adult has a brain weighing in at about three pounds and measuring up to about 15 centimeters in length. The largest animal brain belongs to that of a sperm whale, weighing in at a whopping 18 pounds! Another large-brained animal is the elephant, with an average brain size of around 11 pounds.
But what about relative brain size in proportion to body size? Humans must certainly have the largest brains in comparison to their body size, right? Once again, this notion is also a myth. Surprisingly, one animal that holds the largest body-size to brain ratios is the shrew, with a brain making up about 10 percent of its body mass.
"Our primate lineage had a head start in evolving large brains, however, because most primates have brains that are larger than expected for their body size. The Encephalization Quotient is a measure of brain size relative to body size. The cat has an EQ of about 1, which is what is expected for its body size, while chimps have an EQ of 2.5 and humans nearly 7.5. Dolphins, no slouches when it comes to cognitive powers and complex social groups, have an EQ of more than 5, but rats and rabbits are way down on the scale at below 0.4." – Michael Balter, Slate.com

Myth 5: We are born with all the brain cells we ever have, and once they die, these cells are gone forever.

Traditional wisdom has long suggested that adults only have so many brain cells and that we never form new ones. Once these cells are lost, are they really gone for good?
Reality Check: In recent years, experts have discovered evidence that the human adult brain does indeed form new cells throughout life, even during old age. The process of forming new brain cells is known as neurogenesis and researchers have found that it happens in at least one important region of the brain called the hippocampus.
"Above-ground nuclear bomb tests carried out more than 50 years ago resulted in elevated atmospheric levels of the radioactive carbon-14 isotope (14C), which steadily declined over time. In a study published yesterday (June 7) in Cell, researchers used measurements of 14C concentration in the DNA of brain cells from deceased patients to determine the neurons’ age, and demonstrated that there is substantial adult neurogenesis in the human hippocampus." – Dan Cossins, The Scientist

Myth 6: Drinking alcohol kills brain cells.

Partly related to the myth that we never grow new neurons is the idea that drinking alcohol can lead to cell death in the brain. Drink too much or too often, some people might warn, and you'll lose precious brain cells that you can never get back. We've already learned that adults do indeed get new brain cells throughout life, but could drinking alcohol really kill brain cells?
Reality Check: While excessive or chronic alcohol abuse can certainly have dire health consequences, experts do not believe that drinking causes neurons to die. In fact, research has shown that even binge drinking doesn't actually kill neurons.
"Scientific medical research has actually demonstrated that the moderate consumption of alcohol is associated with better cognitive (thinking and reasoning) skills and memory than is abstaining from alcohol. Moderate drinking doesn’t kill brain cells but helps the brain function better into old age. Studies around the world involving many thousands of people report this finding." – PsychCentral.com

Myth 7: There are 100 billion neurons in the human brain.

If you've ever thumbed through a psychology or neuroscience textbook, you have probably read that the human brain contains approximately 100 billion neurons. How accurate is this oft-repeated figure? Just how many neurons are in the brain?
Reality Check: The estimate of 100 billion neurons has been repeated so often and so long that no one is completely sure where it originated. In 2009, however, one researcher decided to actually count neurons in adult brains and found that the number was just a bit off the mark. Based upon this research, it appears that the human brain contains closer to 85 billion neurons. So while the often-cited number is a few billion too high, 85 billion is still nothing to sneeze at.
"We found that on average the human brain has 86bn neurons. And not one [of the brains] that we looked at so far has the 100bn. Even though it may sound like a small difference the 14bn neurons amount to pretty much the number of neurons that a baboon brain has or almost half the number of neurons in the gorilla brain. So that's a pretty large difference actually." – Dr. Suzana Herculano-Houzel

References
Balter, M. (2012, Oct. 26). Why are our brains so ridiculously big? Slate. Retrieved from http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/human_evolution/2012/10/human_brain_size_social_groups_led_to_the_evolution_of_large_brains.html
Boyd, R. (2008, Feb 7). Do people only use 10 percent of their brains? Scientific American. Retrieved from http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=people-only-use-10-percent-of-brain
BrainFacts.org. (2012). Myth: Brain damage is always permanent. Retrieved from http://www.brainfacts.org/diseases-disorders/injury/articles/2011/brain-damage-is-always-permanent
Cossins, D. (2013, June 7). Human adult neurogenesis revealed. The Scientist. Retrieved from http://www.the-scientist.com/?articles.view/articleNo/35902/title/Human-Adult-Neurogenesis-Revealed/
Hanson, D. J. (n.d.). Does drinking alcohol kill brain cells? PsychCentral.com. Retrieved from http://www2.potsdam.edu/hansondj/HealthIssues/1103162109.html
Herculano-Houzel S (2009). The human brain in numbers: A linearly scaled-up primate brain.Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 3(31). doi:10.3389/neuro.09.031.2009
Randerson, J. (2012, Feb 28). How many neurons make a human brain? Billions fewer than we thought. The Guardian. Retrieved from http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/blog/2012/feb/28/how-many-neurons-human-brain
The Technium. (2004). Brains of white matter. http://www.kk.org/thetechnium/archives/2004/11/brains_of_white.php
Zimmer, C. (2009, April 15). The Big Similarities & Quirky Differences Between Our Left and Right Brains. Discover Magazine. Retrieved from http://discovermagazine.com/2009/may/15-big-similarities-and-quirky-differences-between-our-left-and-right-brains
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